boobs, Texas textbooks, and completely appropriate pictures of Jesus

If Jesus was alive today, does anyone think he’d get caught in a dick pic scandal? I’d like to think he would. I’m not saying I’d want him to suffer through some greater indignity. I wouldn’t want him to suffer just for the sake of suffering. I just think, why not? That would make one hell of a headline you have to admit. The son of god’s cell phone was hijacked and the dick pics he claims to have taken in a moment of weakness were leaked. Maybe he’d claim he was taking them for his doctor. He was so busy on his book tour and didn’t have time to get an oddly shaped mole on his penis checked out. What was the title of his book you ask? “Jesus, the second Cumming.” Are all two readers offended yet?

I don’t really care either way. I actually just wanted to make any of the religious readers uncomfortable for a moment. Which statistically speaking, would be most of my readers. I’m not sure why that kind of humor is appealing to me. I guess I’m just a pretty big fan of humor that pushes a person’s comfort zone. If you’re offended by anything related to everyday life, you have an especially large target on your back. If you were outraged by Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, I think you should have to live out the rest of your days surrounding by gratuitous boobs. An alarm clock shaped like a pair of breasts should wake you up every morning. Every doorknob in your house should be molded after a different pornstar’s tit. Your morning coffee should dribble out of an erect nipple. You should have to endure all of this simply because you were offended by a piece of anatomy. What the hell started me on this topic? Well, there’s this:



It comes from a site I stumbled across that puts Jesus into a slew of everyday situations. LINK. I have no idea where I found the page. I often open things like this in a new tab where they sit for a week or more. Until this blog came along, I wouldn’t know what to do with posts like this. Part of me would want to link to them on facebook, but I usually think a bit better than to do that. Not because I don’t want to, but rather because it might be a bit more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, pretty much every person that knows me decently, knows how not religious I am. Though most people don’t know exactly how not religious I am, I don’t feel the need to broadcast it, (unless I’m asked directly of course). I get plenty of religious propaganda shoved in my face daily. The natural instinct would be to respond in-kind, but at this point in my life it’s not really worth it. Perhaps someday I’ll become some big activist, but until then I’ll be content to offend a handful of people in a blog that nobody reads. How’s that for ambition!

Oh yea, and there’s also this:



Google was fined $2000 for this photo taken by one of their street view cars in Canada. They were fined because the woman claimed she was caused a significant amount of embarrassment and emotional harm by the photo. Why you ask? Well obviously because you can see a decent amount of her cleavage. Never mind the fact she was sitting in full view of the public. Why a judge would agree to award someone like this compensation is beyond me. It completely flies in the face of all logic. Her cleavage has now been seen by a ridiculously large number of people because of the lawsuit. She’s caused herself way more emotional harm by filing the suit. Before she filed, maybe a few dozen people might have seen it. Time for some doorknob titties! KINK.

So the final topic I’ll write about and probably give the least amount of commentary on are school textbooks. PINK. The story is specifically about Texas school textbooks because Texas has a ridiculous amount of influence on what textbook manufacturers include in those books. Texas and California purchase so many textbooks in fact, that manufacturers will add or remove historically accurate items in lieu of whatever bullshit those state school boards want. Those school boards are typically staffed by very strong-minded creationists, (particularly in Texas), and they believe that public schools need more religion. Not any religion of course, because fuck Muslims, Jews, or any other religion that isn’t Christianity. If there’s anything that annoys me more than sticking your religious cock where is doesn’t belong, it’s cock-blocking all other religions in a country that prides itself on religious freedom.

Anyway, the story I linked to touches mainly on the controversy of how climate change is being reported in those textbooks. There are plenty of longstanding issues with how evolution is discussed in those books, among many other things. I highly recommend a documentary called The Revisionaries. It dives into the issue much more than I ever could.


The movie would make a great comedy, if it wasn’t real. “Somebody’s got to stand up to these experts!”

TL;DR: Was this post too offensive? Message me boob shots for “Yes”, dick pics for “No.”

STL;DR: Jesus would approve of this blog. He told me so.

IHTASOAN; DR: Perhaps I’ll tackle a more tame subject in the next post, like white people using the “N” word.