Monday, November 3, 2014

tackling the tough issues

American Horror Story. We embarked on a slightly unintentional binge yesterday of the entire third season, Coven. I had been told the series was worth checking out, but I had mostly dismissed this. I didn’t have a huge interest in watching the series. Almost a year ago I watched the first episode of the the first season, and although it was definitely well put together, I wasn’t left feeling like I had to continue with the series. Looking back, I blame the main characters.


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The first episode begins pretty strong. The cinematography is awesome, and the setting was great. It then moves on the family and characters that will dominate the storyline. To me, this is where the show loses steam. We have the infidelity on the part of the husband, the wife/mother who can’t get past it. Their teenage daughter is the most interesting out of the three of them. Pretty much every character outside of the main three in the family were responsible for keeping my attention. Don’t get me wrong, the first season is good overall, and the camerawork was on a level rarely seen in most movies, let alone television shows. As for the main characters, they have their moments. But like the skin on a set of old balls, the overall story felt stretched thin.

For anyone not familiar with the show, each season is a completely different story that is totally unrelated to the seasons that preceded. I had heard from a few people that the first season was really good, and the second got a bit weird. I decided to check it out after all of the Emmys the third season won. American Horror Story Coven and Fargo took home quite a few. I was team True Detective, and left the Emmys disappointed. This was mainly because that show is really fucking good, and Matthew Mcconaughey gives me a boner. I take that back, his performance gave me the boner. His looks only got me to a quarter chub. Maybe a third.

So the second season of AMS was definitely unexpected. I figured, like many people, the haunted house from the first season would be the staple. It took me a bit by surprise to see the second season completely deviating from usually welcome cliché. It’s difficult to not like a haunted house, especially considering they’re often the most interesting characters in scary movies. Anyway, a close second to the haunted house is the haunted/scary asylum, (the setting for season 2). Who doesn’t like an asylum for crazy people? I know I do! The third season is all about witches, which I admit, the thought wasn’t getting my motor running. I have to say that out of each season, the third is the only one I felt motivated to watch back to back. I’m not sure why. There were a few times where I watched two or three episodes of the second season back to back, but we didn’t binge watch the entire season that way, (like we did with season three). I suppose the overall story was pretty interesting to watch. You actively wanted to know how everything would unfold. Many of the characters were interesting, and the main story had a lot to offer. Am I still talking about American Horror Story? *Sigh* Yes.

So anyone who knows me pretty well probably knows that I own a decent number of books. In fact, I can fill a couple large bookshelves with all the books I own. You’d think I’m a well-read person, and in a lot of ways I suppose I am. I have read a decent number of books. I also read a lot of crap on the internet every day. The funny thing is I don’t feel like I’m nearly as well read as I should be. Out of the many books I own, I’ve probably read less than half. I have no idea why. I never enjoyed reading as a kid. I enjoy it as an adult, but more often than not it’s tough for me to sit down and focus. So often I will read a chapter of something and realize afterwards that I was daydreaming or thinking about other shit the entire time. I also feel like I’m a slow reader. I can read quickly if I want to, however if I really want to pick up all the details and subtleties in a text, I have to slow way down. My reading comprehension is at a minimum when I read closer to a normal person’s pace. At least that is the impression I get. Maybe people read slower than I think, I have no idea. Perhaps that’s why my lowest SAT and ACT scores were in reading comprehension. I was forced to read boring crap and was timed while doing it. Maybe I would have done better if I was given erotic stories from Hustler magazine to read, though it’s probably pretty difficult taking a test with a throbbing erection. Probably is the wrong word. It IS difficult.

The last big set of novels I read was the “Song of Ice and Fire” series. For the layman, that is the series the HBO show “Game of Thrones” is based on. The whole reason I decided to read them, (5 decently large books at the moment), was because I really wanted to know what happened after the second season. The third season was set to come out in three months at the time, so I set out on a quest to burn through almost all the books. I wanted to start at the beginning and work my way well past where the third season would end. Miraculously, I achieved that goal. I read over three-thousand dense pages in less than three months time, a major accomplishment for me. The book series hit a bit of a brick wall in the fourth book, and the last two novels took me another 6 months or so to finish, but I had accomplished something unheard of for me. Up until that point, I had mainly read Chuck Palahniuk. His novels are usually around 200 pages and aren’t overly dense. I could usually get through one in a couple months, sometimes more. Again, I just can’t bring myself to sit down and read them like I should. Speaking of which, if anyone stopped reading this post several paragraphs ago, call me Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

The whole reason I went into this was because like Brittany, I did it again. I bought yet another book despite all the unread novels currently sitting on my shelves. I bought “The World of Ice and Fire, the Untold History of Westeros.” It’s a beast of a book, and I plan on reading it right away. We’ll see if I actually finish it. I think I honestly like to own books more than I like to read them. I’m a strange motherfucker.

TL;DR: Skip today’s blog post. Seriously.

STL; DR: Reading is hard in a “it’s not hard at all” kind of way. There’s a joke in there somewhere about my penis.

IHTASOAN;DR: I could have worked so many erection jokes in this post. Wait, not “could have”, I SHOULD have. I should rename this blog “the snoozing penis.”

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